Get A Next Date, Part Deux
If you didn't already check out the first part to these vital tips (do them or you could possibly die - not probably, but possibly :), go here!
Already an expert on the first eight life or death vital tips? Then, here's more thoughtful info designed to optimize your dating experience.
9. Don’t Be Creepy
Seriously, err on the side of caution here. Women's number one need is to feel safe (say the experts!), make her feel safe and you're off to a great start! You won’t mean to be, but it will come off that way if you ask, as date No. 4 did with me, “What is a girl like you doing at speed dating?” If you try to get her contact details and ask what street she lives on or suggest meeting up afterward, she'll be rubbed the wrong way. The system dictates that you discreetly mark the "yes" box and if the other person does the same, you will be provided with their contact details. Don’t push it.
10. Don’t Elaborate Your Weak Points
You have five minutes to portray yourself. Don’t talk, as my date No. 9 did, about how you lost your job, can’t find work and have had to move in with your grandparents. Don’t mention ex-girlfriends, bad breakups or the fact that your family forced you to go to speed dating to get you out of the house because you’ve been pretty depressed recently.
11. Thing of Great Questions in Advance
My girlfriends and I were hoping that someone, anyone, would sit down and say: “What’s your favorite dinosaur?” “What superpower would you most like to have?” “What’s the scariest thing you’ve ever done?” “What would you spend a million dollars on?” Instead, the most interesting line I got was from date No. 18: “Do you enjoy sports?” As an alternative to off-the-wall questions, spend a couple of minutes reading up on odd news stories you can pull out of your sleeve just in case. The guy with the nugget about the pole-dancing zoo animal may not be in high demand out on the streets, but he’ll inevitably leave an impression at speed dating, just by having offered something different. Bonus points if you can actually weave your story into the conversation.
If you’re totally stuck on this, be sure to check out our speed dating question suggestions!
12. Don’t Open With The Usual
Most speed dating nights have an average of 20 to 30 people from each sex. If you’re near the end of the line, the bored woman in front of you has already repeated the story of where she comes from and what she does for a living for the past two hours. Start with something you can steer out of the mundane — topics along the lines of travel, dreams for the future or childhood memories.
13. Do Dress Up
The girls you’ll meet have made an effort. They’ve waxed and polished and powdered and sprayed. Do not go in the soccer shirt you wore yesterday. Also, avoid, as my No. 16 date of the night failed to do, a lime-green shirt tucked into high-waisted pants (in the pocket of which he carried diagrams to better illustrate his mechanical drawing prowess). A suit is not necessary. Wear a dress shirt and some decent shoes. Yes this was in part one, yes it bears worth repeating. We'll say it again: Do Dress Up.
14. Take Notes... But Don't Do it During the Date!
Since you'll be meeting so many people in a short period of time, it may be helpful to write down some quick notes about each dater. This will help you remember specific details in case you match up with them and end up meeting after the event. But DON'T write down notes in the middle of the date - it can make the other person feel uncomfortable and think that they're getting judged on everything they say. Wait until after the date, and scribble down a couple notes before heading to next table.
15. Contact Your Matches
After the Event After the event is over, you will typically receive an email with your matches within 24 hours. We recommend sending an email to your favourite match right away and suggesting a meet up for a quick drink or dessert. Keep in mind that your match may be receiving several messages from other guys at the same time, so don't get upset if she doesn't reply right away (or if at all). If you don't get a reply, she's probably not interested - don't pursue her any further and move on to someone else. It may take a few events before you really get the hang of things, so don't be discouraged if you don't have immediate success.
16. Have Fun
Last but not least, commit and HAVE FUN! This experience will only be as good as you make it, so again, go in with an open mind and enjoy yourself.
