We're planners and optimists here at NABD so we're giving you tips on dating for when your speed dating success has hit your jackpot!
Before you have that first date, make sure you’ve sorted them out through the dealbreakers that you have. This process of clarifying your dealbreakers will save you time, heartache and simply be efficient. Conscious dating happens when you know what it is you want. If you don’t know what this is, spend a bit of time to figure it out to save you hours, days, even years (you know this to be true if you kept hoping that relationship you were in would just work out, even when it wasn’t set up for success from the beginning as shared values weren’t established).
Make sure that what you say on a first date is music to both of your ears. Here’s a few suggestions that you can change up to suit the moment at hand.
1. “How did that start?”
Taking an interest in her life, job or anything else that s/he likes to talk about is a must for first date conversations. Everyone likes it when genuine interest is shown in what they’re saying to gain a bigger picture of who they are. You can do that by asking questions like, “How did your job/hobby/interest start?”
2. "One of my dreams is to…”
First dates are all about getting to know each other. When it comes to dreams, expressing yours helps others to gain some interesting insight into you, and they’ll love that you’re able to open up.
3. “My friend was telling me about…”
Throwing in a word about your friend and something interesting he said or did will show your date that you keep some awesome company. Just make sure you don’t fall into the trap of going on and on about your friends to the point where you are taking focus away from your date.
4. “Ha ha ha!”
Our next first date conversation tip is as simple as it gets. The sound of your laughter is always something everyone wants to hear. It shows your date that they have a great sense of humor and that you find them delightful. Just try not to overdo it, and always keep it genuine. After all, if you make a non-funny person tell jokes on your first date, they’re going to be throwing out the “funny” quips on future dates. Not fun for your ears.
5. “I had a really good time.”
By the end of the first date there’s often an awkwardness that descends, with both parties not knowing if the other had a fun time or not. If you had a good time, then tell them. They will really appreciate hearing it, and it will save her from having to dissect the date’s occurrences with her friends later. My favorite way to end a great date is to let the person know that I had a blast and that I’d love to do it again, and then I’ll even specify that if they’d like to do this again they can give me a call/text and we can go from there. If not, no worries, it was a fun evening and I appreciated the opportunity to spend time together in this way. That way everyone leaves with all the information and all the respect. If it was a bad date for you, then be equally truthful, up-front and honest – this too will be seen as respectful.
6. "Can I have the bill?"
There’s nothing wrong with going Dutch on a first date. There’s nothing wrong with either party picking up the bill. If you want to pay but don’t’ want the dance of awkwardness at the table, discreetly exscuse yourself, go pay the bill and then let your date know it’s handled. Initiative and effort to keep things comfortarble are typically valued by most. Don’t want someone paying for you? Let them know at the beginning of the date, or even better, before you even head out the door. Communication is always king in the arena of partnerships!
7. Can you say more about that?
To the communicators and connectors, this is music to our ears. Yes we can say more about that, we’re soooo happy you’ve asked and we are thrilled you’re into listening to even more about us. If you’re a ‘less is more’ type, then stretching out of your comfort zone and expanding on what you’ve said can be appreciated even more as communicators tend to notice that you’re stepping outside of our comfort zone, and when you do it ‘just for us’ we will darn special!